It’s been nearly 10 years since I created my last animation... I’ve been exploring many other things in that time, but in the realm of content creation, nothing has brought me as much joy and fulfillment as creating animations. Yeah, they take a long time to create. Yeah, they’re difficult to monetize. Yeah, I might spend dozens of hours on one, only for it to flop. But... I remember when animation was a big part of who I was. It WAS who I was. So why did I stop? I ask that rhetorically, of course. I know I’ve been messing around with other means of expression, but once again... none of them have given me what animation has.

I do feel the sting of regret though. I think about all these years... How many animations could I have created in that time? How far could I have gone? But no... I shouldn’t dwell on it; what’s passed is past. Perhaps I needed to explore? Perhaps I needed to dabble in all the things that didn’t bring me fulfillment to make me truly realize how important animation is to me? And there’s no time like the present to get started. As the saying goes: The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the 2nd best time is now.

I have plenty of ideas... I suppose that’s why I dabbled in comics. I wanted to be able to get those ideas out quickly. But... I dunno, I just didn’t enjoy the process of making them. But I do like the story I got going. Misadventures of a Level 1 Kobold. I want to make that the first animation project that I work on. But instead of trying to tell one big epic tale, I want to focus on short form storytelling. Episodic animated shorts. Yes, there can be an overarching story, but I want each one to be able to stand on its own.

I think the biggest challenge I’ll face going into this will be learning Blender’s animation tools. I spent years working with Flash, but I’ve since grown weary of... well, Adobe being Adobe. I’ve migrated over to Blender, but while I’ve been doing a lot of drawing with the Grease Pencil tool, I’ve yet to experiment with animating it. I suppose the best way to learn is to dive right in.

And so, the time to start is now. Write a script. Draw a storyboard. Put together an animatic. And then bring it all to life with animation!

Hello, Kobold Friends. It’s been... an awfully long time since I’ve uploaded anything to my YouTube channel, or any other video platform for that matter...  Sure, I’ve been doing the occasional comic/doodle, but what I’m really talking about is video/animation creation. And now... I find myself wanting to start again. But start again on what, exactly? That is something I’m still unsure about. I know over the years I’ve come back again and again... wanting to try something new, but eventually I just... give up before I produce anything worthwhile. So now... now I’m just here to say that I don’t know what I’m going to do next. I have the desire to create once more, but I can’t seem to break free of this slump... of this creator’s block.

I’ve tried all sorts of videos over the years. Memes, Garry’s Mod machinima, 3D animation, 2D animation, video essays, streaming... Looking back... I found the most enjoyment in the machinima and the animated shorts. They also seemed to generate the most engagement. And that’s really what this is all about right? Interacting with viewers. Audience participation. Hell, I think the most fun I’ve had working on any project was that Tumblr ask blog I did back in the day. Anybody remember those things?? Are those things even relevant anymore? And... well, I guess that leads me into my next apprehension.

YouTube is changing so much all the time. And not just YouTube as a platform, but the Internet as a whole. Society as a whole. The world changes fast. And frankly... it’s pretty hard to keep up with it all! It’s hard to keep up with what’s relevant. What will drive engagement. Now... I don’t care about getting a ton of views, but it is nice to not be completely invisible... Like I said, interacting with the community is the best part of content creation, and so I want to create the type of content which will ultimately lead to that. And that brings me back to my original dilemma... What SHOULD I create next?

I’ve... admittedly been down this thought process many times before. I’ve done many brainstorming sessions, made bullet lists, fiddled around in video editors, even doodled ideas on paper... but I feel like I keep running into a wall. Perhaps... the answer really is to go back?

Go back... maybe not entirely, but take inspiration from the videos that I enjoyed most? Once again, those Garry’s Mod videos and animated shorts were a great joy to work on, and the people on YouTube seemed to really enjoy them, so perhaps the answer is in them? Perhaps Shorts are the answer? Maybe trying to do longform videos was my most fundamental mistake? In the past, my greatest joy and success in content creation came from telling bite-sized stories. And while platforms have changed, I feel like there will always be a place for short form storytelling.

Storytelling... perhaps that’s it? I just need to tell stories like I used to! Of course, nowadays short form videos fall into the realm of TikToks and YouTube Shorts... I may need to get accustomed to the vertical format... but perhaps that’d be worth it? If anybody’s still reading at this point, I would love to hear your feedback. Should I really go back? Should shorts be the focus of my content going forward? Were bite-sized stories my greatest strength over the years?

I certainly have a lot to think about, but I think I’ll wrap this up for now. I want to create again. I plan to create again. Maybe I’ll start by re-downloading Garry’s Mod? Maybe I’ll finally get around to toying with Blender’s animation tools? Perhaps both? Whatever I do, all I know is that I HAVE to start creating things again.

I was sick for over a month, but I'm finally doing better now. Unfortunately, now I'm way behind on my finances. Thus, I'm opening up to take commissions. I've included my commission sheet below if you're interested!

I've basically been sick since the beginning of the month... Progress on stuffs has been non-existent, and I overall feel like death. I'm on an antibiotic, and hoping things turn around soon.

Well, this is unfortunate. Once again I'm sick... It's a lot harder to focus on art while I'm feeling like garbage. I'll try to make some progress though. I've been working on the new little comic I posted last week. Of course, I realized that I should probably make concept art for important characters before just slapping them into the comic. Sooo my next piece will be a ref sheet for a goblin girl, who will be the protagonist's companion.

I've been making slow but steady progress in drawing over the last couple of weeks. I'm trying to push through my recent brain fog and make more of a habit of this. I finally got started working on a webcomic I've wanted to do for a while. I'm hoping to have at least something to share by Monday.

Drawing. I fuss, I tweak, I erase, I redraw, I edit, rinse and repeat. I mentally beat myself up over a piece. I get frustrated. Sometimes I think about giving up. But then... after a few hours of work, I take a step back and say... "You know... that actually looks okay!"

Don't let the bumps in the road dissuade you. Figure out what you dislike. Learn from your mistakes. Improvise, adapt, overcome. And most importantly of all... USE REFERENCES. Like... I was struggling to draw the hands in this piece... so I just plopped my hand on the table and took some pictures with my smartphone to use as a reference.

My Lifelong Passion

Circumstances have changed in my life, and now I find myself with more time to dedicate to art. And I've been doing just that. Piece-by-piece, I've been creating what I want - how I want it - just like I've always wanted. I've wrestled with so much internal turmoil over the years, but I think I've finally decided that... I'm okay with doing this as a job. I know the threat of burnout looms on the horizon - the fear of coming to hate the thing I love. Nonetheless, I can plan for it. Prepare to handle it when that time approaches.

To Pay the Bills...

Now the next big hurdle is... finding a way to monetize art sufficiently before my savings run out. I've spent the last few weeks padding out my portfolio. I've also set up at Ko-fi and a Patreon. Of course, I still need to build up more of an online presence if I hope to find people willing to pay for my work... I suppose branching out to stuff like Twitch and YouTube could also be helpful, but I'm still undecided on what exactly to make in terms of videos - aside from art streams. I do plan on doing animations, but those take a very long time to make. I guess it wouldn't hurt though!

For the Time Being...

I guess I should just stay the course. Keep drawing. Keep active of relevant social media to remain visible. And never stop drawing.

Wow, it's been nearly 12 years since I first found Newgrounds. I've been on and off a few times since then. Now, with the great Tumblr exodus, I've noticed a lot of people migrating over here, so I thought I might give it another shot. We'll see what comes of this.